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The Devil Made Texas

from Words Of Wisdom by Brian Dewan

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lyrics

Oh the devil in Hell they say he was chained
And there for a thousand years he remained
He neither complained and nor did he groan
But decided he’d start up a hell of his own
Where he could torment the souls of men
Without being shut in a prison pen
So he asked the Lord if He had any sand
Left over from the making of this great land
The Lord, He says yes, I have plenty on hand
But it’s way down south on the Rio Grande
And to tell you the truth, the stuff is so poor
I doubt it would do for a hell anymore
So the devil went down and looked over the truck
And he said as it came as a gift he was stuck
For once he examined it careful and well
He decided the place was too dry for a hell
So the Lord, just to get the stuff off of His hands
Said He’d promise the devil He’d water the lands
For He had some old water that wasn’t no use
A regular bog hole that stunk like the deuce
So the grant it was made and the deed it was given
The Lord, He returned to His place up in Heaven
The devil soon saw he had everything needed
To make up a hell, and so he proceeded
He scattered tarantulas over the roads
Put thorns on the cactus and horns on the toads
He sprinkled the sand with millions of ants
So the man who sits down must wear soles on his pants
He lengthened the horn of the Texas steer
He added an inch to the jackrabbit’s ear
He put water puppies in all of the lakes
And under the rocks he put rattlesnakes
He wove thorns and brambles all over the trees
He mixed up the dust with jiggers and fleas
The rattlesnake bites you, the scorpion stings
The mosquito delights you by buzzing his wings
The heat in the summer’s a hundred and ten
Too cool for the devil and too hot for men
And all that remained in that climate soon bore
Stings, bites and scratches, and blisters galore
He quickened the buck of the bronco steed
He poisoned the feet of the centipede
Where the wild boar roams and the black chaparral
It’s a hell of a place that we’ve got for a hell
He planted red peppers beside of the brooks
The Mexicans use them in all that they cook
Just dine with a Mexican and you will shout
"I've got hell on the inside as well as the out!"

credits

from Words Of Wisdom, released November 13, 2007
Recorded by Brian Dewan at home
Catskill, New York, June 2007
Mastered by Dave McNair

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Brian Dewan Catskill, New York

Brian Dewan presents The Humanitarium—a series of folk compilations featuring songs he’s unearthed in old schoolbooks, at garage sales, in attics and basements, arranged for his instruments of choice: autoharp, electric zither, organ and accordion. Fans of Brian's original albums, his art, and his work with They Might Be Giants and the Blue Man Group will treasure the Humanitarium series. ... more

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